Dear Santa,
I've got a problem.
No, not the kind of problem that makes Mom and Dad so flustered they resort to spelling in front of you even though you're twenty years old. My problem is more Christmas related and a lot less awkward.
I want to get presents for all of my friends this year and I want to make sure they know I care about them. The only small pittance I can afford is those free Bibles the Gideons passed out at the beginning of the school year. And I'm not sure what my humbly-wrapped New Testament will say exactly to my Jewish friend.
Tell Mrs. Claus, "Hey." She really doesn't get enough credit for living with you at home 364 days a year.
Lots of love,
Taylor
For Your Secret Crush
Mint has been playing double agent for the Holiday Camp and the Love Team for ages, being both a mild aphrodisiac and jolly childhood memory all at the same time. I love the idea of a glass jar filled with hot cocoa mix, wrapped together with some marshmallows (sprinkled with mint extract for subtle sexiness) and a giant peppermint stick (which is much less subtle). Just try to keep your memory of opening that first bike and the memory of your first kiss separate, or we'll have another awkward "George Costanza and his corned beef during sex" incident.
For Your Dude-Bro Amigo
Brownies don't have to be filled with pot to be addictive. Make any standard box brownie. I like to cook them just a few minutes short of done to get the perfectly moist square. But instead of frosting in the plain old way, melt down a few Butterfinger bars in the microwave. Pour the peanut-buttery mixture all over the top of the warm brownies, crumpling another of the candy bars over the top for good measure. Once they cool, the brownies will be gooey on the inside and crunchy on the outside.
For Your Oddball Buddy
Popcorn is the perfect canvas on which you can paint all sorts of weird and disturbingly good flavors. And if Yves Klein can paint blue squares and call it art, then you can convince that artistic, Etsy-loving, thrift-shop-wearing friend that this culinary gift is a frickin' Van Gogh. Start with a standard popcorn in a big bowl. Over low to medium heat, warm butter and brown sugar to get your standard caramel corn taste. From here, you can get creative. I've had awesome caramel corn seasoned with some leftover bacon grease that is just delicious. You could even try a little bit of peanut butter and jelly melted into the butter and brown sugar to get that great elementary school flavor without the glue.
I've got a problem.
No, not the kind of problem that makes Mom and Dad so flustered they resort to spelling in front of you even though you're twenty years old. My problem is more Christmas related and a lot less awkward.
I want to get presents for all of my friends this year and I want to make sure they know I care about them. The only small pittance I can afford is those free Bibles the Gideons passed out at the beginning of the school year. And I'm not sure what my humbly-wrapped New Testament will say exactly to my Jewish friend.
Tell Mrs. Claus, "Hey." She really doesn't get enough credit for living with you at home 364 days a year.
Lots of love,
Taylor
For Your Secret Crush
Mint has been playing double agent for the Holiday Camp and the Love Team for ages, being both a mild aphrodisiac and jolly childhood memory all at the same time. I love the idea of a glass jar filled with hot cocoa mix, wrapped together with some marshmallows (sprinkled with mint extract for subtle sexiness) and a giant peppermint stick (which is much less subtle). Just try to keep your memory of opening that first bike and the memory of your first kiss separate, or we'll have another awkward "George Costanza and his corned beef during sex" incident.
For Your Dude-Bro Amigo
Brownies don't have to be filled with pot to be addictive. Make any standard box brownie. I like to cook them just a few minutes short of done to get the perfectly moist square. But instead of frosting in the plain old way, melt down a few Butterfinger bars in the microwave. Pour the peanut-buttery mixture all over the top of the warm brownies, crumpling another of the candy bars over the top for good measure. Once they cool, the brownies will be gooey on the inside and crunchy on the outside.
For Your Oddball Buddy
Popcorn is the perfect canvas on which you can paint all sorts of weird and disturbingly good flavors. And if Yves Klein can paint blue squares and call it art, then you can convince that artistic, Etsy-loving, thrift-shop-wearing friend that this culinary gift is a frickin' Van Gogh. Start with a standard popcorn in a big bowl. Over low to medium heat, warm butter and brown sugar to get your standard caramel corn taste. From here, you can get creative. I've had awesome caramel corn seasoned with some leftover bacon grease that is just delicious. You could even try a little bit of peanut butter and jelly melted into the butter and brown sugar to get that great elementary school flavor without the glue.
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Oh, your English essay on food topic is just gorgeous!